Bagels

It was Little 500 weekend in Bloomington, Indiana. The annual bicycle race that takes place at the IU campus. Nobody goes to the race, everyone just parties. I was there for other reasons…
I had stayed with my friend Zach and his girlfriend Megan. We had a weird, strange night on the Friday before Little 5. There was the usual concert on that night, Feist was performing for it. It was a very enjoyable show and everyone there seemed like they were having an easy-going, good time. I had that same fun-loving time. It was a good show, but I was bored. I couldn't help it. I was used to being in a fight to grab a piece of a shirt thrown into the audience by Morrissey. Yeah, I know. So Zach and I go to the show with my newly purchased Wayfarer knock-offs from the Goodwill that I got for $0.50 each. I got two and they were both a shade of blue. When asked by Zach what colour each of them were I said, "Yours are aqua. Mine are deep aqua." I had countless compliments from 18 year-old freshmen girls. I wasn't sure if I liked that or not. Hell, I did, and they did it with their shitty first-year boyfriends there beside them. Yeah, I was cooler than cool. I put off that vibe too. I'm not like that at all, but I wanted to try it for a night. It didn't work.
Feist show, merch purchase, wait for an autograph, etc, etc, etc…
So I get to Megan's eventually via car, getting lost by drunk directions and slurs. I arrive in an alley, running. Running the wrong way. I turn around to find Zach and Megan running after my lost ass. They lead me to their place where they are playing a unique game of chess. The game pieces consisted of paper, condoms, a fake turtle, pasta shells, and many other various things around the house. The chess board was a towel stolen from the hotel nearby when they went on a swimming excursion the previous night. Try it, they won't know that you aren't staying in the hotel. You just can't get to the pool with your room key.
So the chess game never finishes, not that it ever began, it was just created. Like a straight line. It's about 3:30 in the morning, and I'm the only one tired. So what do I do? I drink, drink, drink. What else is there to do at 3:35? Yes, 5 minutes lapsed for that decision, and to mix a drink. After about 3 drinks I fall into a slumber on the lop-sided couch. It's not comfy, but it got the job done. A few hours of sleep and I'm ready for the next day!
Morning – 10:00
We arrived for breakfast at The Runcible Spoon. I had no idea what we were getting into. I walked towards the door, as I usually would to enter a building, wearing my Wayfarer knock-offs that I had purchased at Goodwill the week before. I bought two pairs since they were only fifty cents. What a fucking bargain. So I was attempting to walk into the building when a certain college student (douchebag) stopped me in my path by proclaiming, "Dude, let's have a shade-off!"
Not knowing what the fuck this guy's issues were, I decided to play a part in this debauchery. Oh, it was certain that I was going to win this battle, but I had to show him the error in his ways. 3…2…1… shades on! Our glasses to protect from UV rays had been put into their protective position on each of our faces. "Aw dude, you win."
I knew that. I knew that before we had even started. Hell, I knew it before spending $1.06 for both pairs. He was going to lose a bit of pride that day, it just so happened to be inflicted by me.
Eventually we all entered, high from my victory, ready for breakfast. We took our seats, and upon hearing about the great house blend, Megan and I ordered coffee. Zach, knowing how the system works and how the Man tries to hold him back, declined to order coffee. He drank from Megan's mug.
Sitting for a few minutes gazing over the menu, we were ready. The time had come to place our order. Our waitress arrive, Megan went first. Zach went second. Then, it was my time to shine. The attractiveness of our waitress threw off my concentration of the menu and my order. In a panic, I blurted out, "I'll have the, uh, the omelet, and uh, could I also get a bagel with cream cheese? You can bring the toast too, if it's not trouble." I was told that it would be no trouble at all. My heart melted like the butter on that toast. Through all the anxiety, I still knew that I would like to have a bagel for that morning's breakfast.
Then it happened, there before my eyes was what would become my obsession for months to come. With one spread of the cream cheese, and once crisp, but not too crisp bite, my fate was sealed. It overtook me. Like being swallowed up by a giant wave of taste, I was addicted, and I didn't mind.

I know very well how I got my name

My blog name comes from an album that is more widely known as Viva Hate by Morrissey. You will see many Morrissey references in my postings.
My postings will never be serious, so please don't take them that way. Don't take them any way at all, they are mine, and are not meant to be taken. This is really only for a few people to read, so if you stumbled here, it's your own fault. Enjoy your stay.